control in chaos: my realizations after the college process

I am a good student. I will get into all of my schools. I am a good person. I am deserving of happiness. These were my affirmations last fall. I’d write them obsessively in my notebooks and recite them to my walls (when I remembered to). My affirmations were my form of self-respect; I held on to them and hoped that some shooting star and a red robin would fly across whatever magical sky that clouded my perception of truth.