Love–Bombing: the outcome of a decline in Meaningful Romance

Graphic by Grace Livecchi

The stage of our lives by which we are expected to be married is approaching – and all too quickly. For some of us, a clock that urges us to find\ our soulmates is incessantly ticking. With such pressure – whether it comes from general society, our family members, or those around us in long-term relationships – many young adults find themselves participating in what has recently been coined “love-bombing.” This refers to the phenomenon of attempting to influence a person by demonstrations of over affection, and has become increasingly common in order to combat hook-up culture, and accelerate the process of finding a loyal partner. 

While many view love-bombing as a means of misleading someone, I find it imperative to view it through a different lens – as a byproduct of the decline of meaningful romantic relationships. With a handle on the habits that plague the singles of the world, it is typical to feel hopeless when it comes to finding someone who appreciates you as an individual. Thus, we might find ourselves resorting to excessive validation – whether this be a shower of compliments or over-the-top gestures. People often gravitate toward those who make them feel good about themselves. They feel a sense of permanence or consistency emulating from this person, and want to keep them around. Knowing the power of such actions, it makes sense as to why one craving love would behave in such a way. This is not to say such conduct is inauthentic, but rather, it tends to come out much sooner than it otherwise would have in a society where such bonds were more desirable.

While I do feel sympathy for those who participate in this variation of love-bombing – that which is for the sake of wanting someone to stick around – it is necessary to be wary of the fact that negative motives exist. Extreme affection can exist as a manipulation tactic and has the capacity to evolve into emotional abuse. In being constantly affirmed, it is easy to believe that you are cared for. Realistically, the love-bomber might want control over you while neglecting your needs and wants in the relationship.

Regardless of the circulating connotation of love-bombing – which suggests toxicity and manipulation – examining society’s dominating view on relationships is necessary, as it explains why certain people tend to go overboard in early stages. Hook-up culture has made us feel like we are not worthy of monogamous commitment unless we are entirely flawless, which is unrealistic and damaging for someone looking to settle down. However, not all people who love-bomb want something serious – so, proceed with caution, even if you are scurrying to find a S/O for Valentine’s Day :)